Twinned with a rock · Established 1971 · Population: Enough FREN
The gravel road into the pines toward Chimoubongo
Chimoubongo, Quebec, Canada

Mauricie · Québec · Canada

A town
in the pines

Voted into existence by nine people and a dog, in 1971. It has never once asked you to explain yourself.

Scroll
1971
Established
41 ha
Of uncut white pine
Enough
Population
Most
Office hours

Chapter One

How A Town Got Invented

In the spring of 1971 there was no Chimoubongo. There was a logging road, a bend in a creek, forty-one hectares of white pine nobody had bothered to cut, and a school bus with the seats torn out.

The bus belonged to Alphonse-Réal Bougie, who was thirty-four, from Trois-Rivières, and had been asked to leave four communes in two provinces. Not for anything criminal. People simply found that after a few months in his company they had started keeping a candle lit for reasons they could not articulate, and this made their spouses nervous.

He parked the bus at the bend in the creek because, he later said, the trees stopped talking over each other there. Eight other people were with him. Their names are on the stone by the post office: Ginette, Marcel, Big Yvon, Little Yvon, Suzanne, Dee, Pauline, and a man everybody called The Dentist who was not a dentist and had, in fact, never been to one.

There was also the dog. The dog was named Motion, because Alphonse-Réal insisted every vote needed one.

The 1961 school bus sunk in moss beside the creek

The bus, at The Bend, where it has been parked since 1971. Tomatoes have been coming through the roof vents for at least thirty years.

“A town is not a place. A town is a group of people who have agreed to keep showing up. The trees were already having a town. We just asked to join.”

Alphonse-Réal Bougie, 1971

The Vote

On the night of June 2nd, 1971, they held what the town charter still calls The Vote. It lasted eleven hours. There were exactly two items on the agenda.

Item one: shall this be a town? Passed, nine to nothing. Motion abstained by falling asleep, which the charter records as a formal abstention and which is why abstaining in Chimoubongo is still called doing a Motion.

Item two: what shall it be called? This took the other ten and a half hours. Ginette wanted Saint-Quelque-Chose, on the grounds that everything in Québec is a saint and it would help with the mail. Big Yvon wanted Pineville, in English, to annoy Little Yvon. The Dentist wanted no name at all and argued for it with real feeling.

At around four in the morning Alphonse-Réal, who had not spoken for two hours, said the word Chimoubongo. Nobody asked what it meant. Everybody voted yes. When people ask him what it means he says the same thing he has said for fifty-five years, which is: "It means this." And then he gestures at everything.

Becoming Official-ish

Chimoubongo has been through eleven separate administrative processes and has emerged from all of them slightly less certain of its own legal status. It appears on hydro maps, forestry maps, and one 1978 tourism brochure. It does not appear on the provincial municipality register, an omission the town has stopped contesting and now considers a feature.

The mail comes. That was always the real test.

The Founder

Alphonse-Réal Bougie

Alphonse-Réal Bougie, 89, long white hair, dressed in black, at the forest edge
A.-R. BougieAt the edge of the Standing Grove, last autumn. He asked that the photograph be taken there and nowhere else.

He is eighty-nine. He is six foot three and appears taller because of the hair, which is white, waist-length, and parted in the exact middle with a precision that people find more unsettling than if it were wild. He wears black. He has worn black since 1969, before it meant anything, and he is quietly furious that it came to mean something.

He paints one eye. Left one, kohl, every morning, thirty seconds, no mirror. He has never explained it. The going theory in town is that it is a joke he started so long ago that stopping now would be a bigger statement than continuing.

He is not frightening. He is a lot, which people confuse with frightening. He will hold eye contact through an entire conversation about your car. He remembers what you said in 2004 and will bring it up as though no time has passed. He laughs at a delay of about two seconds, which is exactly long enough for you to worry.

He grows tomatoes. He is unbelievably good at it. He gives them away and will not accept money, but he does keep a ledger, and everyone in town is aware of the ledger, and nobody has ever seen it.

Known Habits

  • Walks the north ridge at 4:00 a.m. Always. Snow included.
  • Answers the phone before it rings. Twice. Witnessed.
  • Calls every child "friend" and every adult by their full legal name.
  • Plays a pump organ badly, on purpose, for atmosphere.

Things He Has Said

  • "You are late, which is fine, because so is everything."
  • "Don't thank me. Thank the dirt. I'm just the middleman."
  • "I've been dying since 1937. It's going great."
  • "Take two. The third one is for someone who isn't here yet."

He holds no office. Chimoubongo has no mayor. He is listed in town documents as Groundskeeper, a title he chose, and if you ask him about it he will say the town keeps itself and he just tidies. He has attended every single town meeting since 1971 and has voted on approximately four percent of the motions.

Geography

Where On Earth

Chimoubongo sits in the Mauricie, in the pine country up the Saint-Maurice river, roughly between Grandes-Piles and Lac-Édouard, west of the Réserve faunique du Saint-Maurice and a long way from anything with a drive-thru. La Tuque is your last real town going north. Shawinigan is your last real town going south. In between, it's trees.

Rivière Saint-Maurice Lac-Édouard Parc national de la Mauricie Route 155 Shawinigan Grandes-Piles Saint-Roch-de-Mékinac Lac-Édouard La Tuque Trois-Rivières → CHIMOUBONGO approx. · nobody has surveyed it N
Note: the coordinates the town gives out are 47°21′N, 72°49′W, which is a stand of trees. Chimoubongo maintains that this is correct and that the trees are the point. GPS units routinely disagree with each other inside town limits by up to four hundred metres. The town has decided this is the GPS units' problem.

Getting Here

Directions, Such As They Are

Start in Shawinigan. Everyone starts in Shawinigan. Take Route 155 north along the Saint-Maurice and settle in, because the pines close over the road around Grandes-Piles and they do not open again.

The gravel road going into the pines

Past the NOT FAR sign. From here the pavement stops and the rest of the directions stop being much use.

  1. Follow the 155 north past Grandes-Piles. Keep the river on your left. If the river is on your right, you are going to La Tuque, which is a fine town, but it is not this one.
  2. Somewhere past Saint-Roch-de-Mékinac the radio will lose the Trois-Rivières station and pick up something in the middle. Do not change it. That is the correct station. It only plays here.
  3. Watch for a hand-painted sign that says NOT FAR. It has said NOT FAR since 1979 and it was not accurate then either. It is a promise, not a measurement.
  4. Nine kilometres after the sign, there is a gravel road on the right with no marker and two boulders that are the same size. If the boulders are different sizes, keep going, that is the Bilodeau turnoff and it ends at a swamp.
  5. Take the gravel road. Go slow. Roll the windows down even if it is cold. This is not a suggestion from us, it is a suggestion from the road.
  6. You will cross a wooden bridge over a creek you cannot see. It is under there.
  7. Six kilometres in, the pines get taller and closer and the sound of your own car changes. Some people describe this as the road going quiet. That is the town noticing you. Keep driving. It is friendly.
  8. You will pass a mailbox with no house. Wave at it. Everyone does. Nobody remembers starting this.
  9. The road forks. The left fork is beautiful, well-graded, freshly gravelled, and goes nowhere at all. Take the right fork, which looks worse in every measurable way.
  10. When you see the pump organ on the porch, you are in Chimoubongo. Park anywhere. There is no wrong spot. Somebody will come out. It is usually Suzanne. If it is a very tall old man in black with one eye painted, that is Alphonse-Réal, and you should know that he will already know your first name.

If You Get Lost

Stop the car. Turn it off. Get out. Stand there for one full minute without looking at your phone. In fifty-five years, this has worked every single time, and we have stopped trying to explain why.

If it does not work, drive back to the NOT FAR sign and start over. The sign is not lying. It is just optimistic.

Coming from Québec City: take the 40 to the 155 and do all of the above. Coming from Montréal: same, but you will be angrier by Shawinigan, and you should sit in the car an extra minute when you arrive. Coming by bus: there is no bus. There has never been a bus. In 1988 there was almost a bus and people still talk about it.

While You're Here

Things To Do In The Trees

The Standing Grove

Forty-one hectares of old white pine that has never been cut, because in 1971 nine people and a dog decided it wouldn't be. Some of these trees were adults during the American Revolution. You may walk in it. You may not bring a chainsaw, a drone, or an opinion about forestry.

The Bend

Where the bus was parked. The bus is still there, sunk to the axles, full of moss and someone's ongoing tomato experiment. You can sit in it. The fourth seat frame from the back is the good one.

The long Thursday Soup table at dusk, people all around it

Thursday Soup

Every Thursday, 5 p.m., the long table behind the post office. There is always soup. Nobody organizes it. It has never once not happened. Bring a jar if you want to take some home, and bring a full jar if you want to be remembered fondly.

The Quiet Kilometre

A marked loop through the north ridge where talking is discouraged but not policed. Alphonse-Réal walks it at 4 a.m. If you join him, do not speak first. He will speak eventually, at about the eight hundred metre mark, and it will be something you think about for a while.

The Ledger Reading

Once a year, in October, the town reads aloud a list of everyone who came and left and came back. It takes two hours. Your name gets added the first time you stay a night. Nobody asks permission. It is not that kind of list.

Swimming

The creek. It is cold. It is always cold. It was cold in the heatwave of 2021 and it will be cold in whatever comes next. Locals go in year-round and are annoyingly serene about it.

Chimoubongo Bureau of Tourism & Adjacent Feelings · Office Hours: Most Of Them

Come See The Things

Attractions & Monuments

The Bureau of Tourism was founded in 1984 by Ginette Lemay, who felt the town was being modest to the point of rudeness. It operates out of a converted grain shed with a hand-lettered sign, keeps no set hours, and answers every written enquiry, eventually. Ginette died in 2019. The Bureau still lists her as Director. Nobody has felt like changing it.

What follows is the official register of things worth stopping the car for.

The giant welded mosquito statue beside Route 155

The World's Second-Largest Mosquito

Route 155, north end · Free · Always visible

Eleven metres from proboscis to abdomen, welded from culvert pipe, farm gate hinges and one entire snowmobile. Erected in 1988 by Big Yvon, who worked from a photograph he took himself and refused to let anyone else look at.

It was intended to be the world's largest. The Bureau applied for the title in 1989 and received a polite letter explaining that a town in Manitoba had gotten there first and was, unfortunately, bigger. Chimoubongo declined to extend the statue. Ginette's position, recorded in the minutes, was that "second is a more honest number and we should wear it."

The plaque reads: SECOND LARGEST. WE KNOW. WE ARE FINE.

Best viewed at dusk, when the shadow reaches the gas station and the gas station closes early on purpose.

The giant horsefly beside the mosquito, visibly larger

The World's Largest Horsefly

Directly beside the mosquito · Free · Casts a shadow on it

Fourteen metres. Built in 1991, three years later, by Big Yvon's brother Little Yvon, who has never publicly stated a motive and who, when asked, says only that "the mosquito looked lonely." It is widely understood in town that this is not what happened.

The horsefly is verified. The Bureau holds the certificate in a frame behind the counter and does not bring it up unless you do. It is positioned so that between 4 and 6 p.m. in summer its shadow falls entirely across the mosquito. Big Yvon and Little Yvon still eat Thursday soup at the same table and have not discussed it in thirty-four years.

The Bureau's official line is that the two statues represent brotherhood. The Bureau has never elaborated.

Bring a coat in the evening. The shade is real shade and it is colder than you expect.

The Apology Board

Outside the post office · Free · Read at your own risk

A cedar board, two metres by one, where anybody may nail up an apology. There is no requirement that it be signed, received, or deserved. Some are forty years old. Some went up last week. The oldest legible one says only "the barn thing, I did it, 1974."

Nothing is ever removed. When the board fills, a new board is nailed over the top of it, and the town is now eleven boards thick. Visitors are welcome to add one. Visitors are asked not to photograph the older layers, which is enforced by nobody and observed by everybody.

Pencil is provided. Pens are discouraged. The Bureau will not explain why.

The Listening Cairn

North ridge, 1.4 km from the trailhead · Free · Bring water

A pile of stones, roughly two metres high, that Alphonse-Réal began in 1972 and has added to at a rate of about six stones a year ever since. He selects them personally. He will not say what the criteria are. When the pile was assessed by a geology student in 2006 the stones were found to come from at least nine distinct locations, three of which are not in Québec.

The town's instruction to visitors is a single sentence, printed on the trail sign and nowhere else: "You may add a stone if you have carried it more than a day."

The acoustics up there are strange and everybody notices it and nobody has a good explanation.

The 1961 school bus sunk in moss

The Bus

The Bend · Free · Do not attempt to start it

The original 1961 school bus, seats torn out, sunk to the axles, growing an ongoing tomato experiment through the roof vents. It is the closest thing the town has to a founding document. You may sit in it. The fourth seat frame from the back is the good one and locals will let you have it without saying anything about it.

In 2011 a museum in Trois-Rivières offered to restore and house it. The town meeting on the question lasted nine minutes and the vote was unanimous. Alphonse-Réal, per usual, abstained.

Tomatoes are communal. Take two. Taking four is noticed.

Annual · Since 1976 · Attendance: Whoever Shows Up

THE POTATO BASH

Third Saturday in September · The field behind the post office · Bats provided

In the autumn of 1975, the town's potato crop failed. Not dramatically. It simply came up small, waxy and grey, and everyone who ate it reported the same thing, which was that they felt off for a couple of days afterward. Nobody could describe it better than that. The word that got used, over and over, at the kitchen table and the long table and eventually at a formal town meeting on the fourth of November, was vibes. The potatoes, it was agreed, had bad vibes.

A motion was raised to hold the potatoes responsible. It passed. Alphonse-Réal abstained, which was noted, and then said one sentence from the back of the room, which was also noted, and which is now painted on the side of the grain shed:

"The potato did nothing. But somebody has to be swung at, and it may as well be something that cannot feel it."

The following September, forty-odd people met in the field behind the post office with bats, and bashed two hundred kilograms of potatoes into the dirt. It was reported to be enormously clarifying. It has happened every year since.

In 1998 a soil study found the 1975 crop had taken up naturally occurring selenium from a seam under the north field. The potato was, formally and scientifically, innocent. The town read the report aloud, accepted it, and voted 31 to 4 to continue the Bash. The event was renamed that same evening. It is now officially The Bash of Apology, and the potatoes are addressed by name before they are struck.

  • 9:00 Bat inspection. Wooden only. No aluminium. Aluminium was tried in 1993 and everyone agreed it felt wrong.
  • 10:00 The Reading of the Charge: the original 1975 minutes are read out in full, including the part where Marcel calls the potatoes "sneaky."
  • 11:00 The Reading of the Acquittal: the 1998 soil report, read out with equal seriousness, by a child, chosen by lottery.
  • 12:00 Soup. Not potato soup. This has been asked about and the answer is no.
  • 13:30 The Bash. Two hours. Roughly four hundred kilograms. Each potato is named aloud before it is struck. Repeat names are permitted. Naming one after a person who is present is a serious breach and has happened twice.
  • 16:00 The Gathering In: everything is raked up and turned back into the north field, which is now the best soil in the region by a distance nobody likes to talk about.
  • 18:00 The Apology. Everyone stands in the field for one minute and says nothing. Then it is over and there is a fire.

Visitors are welcome and are given a bat. There are only two rules and they are both taken seriously: you may not bring your own potato, and you may not bash anything that was not a potato when the day started.

The Bash of Apology: people of all ages with wooden bats in an autumn field
The Bash of ApologyLast September, the north field. The silent minute at 6 p.m., just before the fire.

The Off-Season

February through April the Bureau is closed, the mosquito wears a tarp, and the horsefly does not. Little Yvon has never given a reason. The Bureau has stopped asking.

Guided Tours

There is one guide. He is fourteen. He is very good and he charges four dollars and he will tell you things about the statues that the Bureau considers unconfirmed.

The Gift Shed

Postcards, honey, and a T-shirt that says SECOND LARGEST across the front. The shirt outsells everything else four to one and the Bureau finds this quietly annoying.

Photography

Encouraged everywhere except the older layers of the Apology Board and the north ridge before 6 a.m. Neither restriction is posted. Both are absolute.

Enquiries may be addressed to the Bureau of Tourism, care of the post office. Expect a reply within three weeks or 1987, whichever comes first. Ginette, Director.

The Charter

House Rules

Chimoubongo has no bylaws, no council, and no police. It has nine rules, written on the back of a bus schedule in 1971, and they have not been amended.

  1. Everyone is welcome. That is the whole first rule and it is the only one that has never been argued about.
  2. Weird is fine. Weird is, in fact, the expected condition. If you are normal you are also welcome, but you will have to work a little harder socially.
  3. Nobody has to explain themselves. Not their name, not their past, not what is in the truck.
  4. Cruelty is the only thing we throw people out for. It has happened twice. Both times quietly.
  5. The trees were here first and are considered residents. They do not vote. They do not need to.
  6. Take two, leave one. Applies to tomatoes, firewood, books, chairs, and advice.
  7. If a thing is broken and you know how to fix it, that is now your job. This is how we got a water system.
  8. Anyone may call a town meeting. Anyone may sleep through one. Both are respected equally.
  9. When you leave, come back. Not soon necessarily. Just eventually.

Practical

Before You Come

Staying

There is no hotel. There are eleven spare rooms and four of them are usually free. Ask at Thursday Soup. Camping in the Standing Grove is permitted if you are quiet and take everything out, including the things that were already there before you.

Bring

A jar. Boots that you don't mind. A jacket, even in July, especially in July. Cash, since the machine reads cards when it feels like it. Something to leave behind, per rule six.

Don't Bring

Drones. A schedule. Anyone you're planning to be unkind to. A firm departure date, because those tend to get amended and then you feel silly about the whole thing.

Signal

One bar, on the ridge, facing east, on a clear day, if the town approves. There is a landline at the post office and everyone is welcome to use it. The number is written on the wall next to it, which is not helpful if you are trying to call in.

"We didn't build a town for people like us. We built one for people who didn't have one. Turned out that's most people, once you ask." — A.-R. Bougie, 2011
Thursday Soup, the long table behind the post office
Last Thursday. There is always soup. Nobody organizes it.
☀ ☀ ☀